69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
