Swine flu. Run for my life!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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