So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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