do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
