I must be too annoying 4 u.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
