I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
