I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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