I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
