Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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