I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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