Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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