my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
