Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
