that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
