Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
