i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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