Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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