I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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