Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
