hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
