the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
