I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
