I wannas sexs uuuuu
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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