More tranny stories later!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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