there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
