Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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