I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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