the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
