Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
