theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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