try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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