I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I look excited, but its just a facade.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
