big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
