thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
