let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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