I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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