Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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