He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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