Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
me + whiskey = a bad person
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
