You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
