He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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