Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
