so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
