Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
