god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
