oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Thank you for not boning my boss.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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