Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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