i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
