I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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