I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
