You can't motorboat a personality
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
