I smell stomach acid.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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