i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
